Ever reflected that life is not only a gift, it’s many.

Being alive makes you the proud owner of the worlds most advanced Swiss army knife. I like to use that metaphor as it describes well all tools known or still un discovered that make up the gifts we got at the same time we took our first blessed breath.  Some of the tools  you use to manage the passing of hours you probably know well, like happiness. Oh yes, happiness is one of the great gifts in our toolbox that gives life a purpose. The same goes for relaxation, thirst and anxiety. Pleasure of breathing is also way up there.

I think you see my point regarding gifts of life, however the gifts are given with a purpose and here is where things might have gone lost for many of us. (I will talk more about getting lost in another post)

Our gifts are given in order to be exercised, and one of the best way of exercising our gifts is to look upon changes and turns in our life with a sense of discovery and excitement. Seek to enjoy the dynamic properties of our gifts, even negative ones as the gifts are dynamic by nature and the dynamics translates to power.  Naturally there are boundaries that are unique for every one of us and there for we need to take responsibility for our lives in order to walk well prepared through our experiences. This also extend to all life were we have to take care of ourselves and our surrounding in order to find a balance between all living entities in the world.

A uncertain future ideally should be viewed upon with excitement as it  in one way or another will exercise our gifts and contribute with a richer experience. A dull eventless life is not why we were given these opportunities and if our gifts are not exercised we become weak and vulnerable. We should always try to stretch our bow towards challenging opportunities that will create dynamics and give us experience to move further.  The dynamics of our gifts are connected to our emotions and are to be respected, as the power driving the dynamics are feed by ourselves. From time to time the dynamics becomes to diverse for our experience and we might temporary lose our selves. Depression are to be experienced and mastered as they are natural and part of our toolbox. Mastering depressions is not easy an we all go though them and wonder how it will end, but it will parish and opportunities for other gifts will come.  Seek support from you surrounding as this is how it is to be alive, we shall support each other and all existing forms of life and help each other managing the dynamics in our experiences. It’s the mix, blends and dynamics of our experiences with our gifts that gives us the richness of emotions and energy refills that helps us to seek out new challenges.

Cherish your gifts!

Published in: on April 13, 2009 at 9:29 pm  Leave a Comment  

Respect, in a word of missunderstanding

I start with the word most of us experience from time to time, frustration. Frustration, as we realize that although having plenty of knowledge it does not automatically make things easier as we interact with our environment. Most social collisions we face derives from our way to manage communication. Communication is at a glance natural and simple, something most of us take for granted. However communicating by instinct or using common sense is seldom as efficient as we like to think, especially as we try to convey more intricate thoughts, feelings or experiences.  Our upbringing as part of a micro culture which consists of our family, relatives and close friends seldom provides us with enough experience to deal with the infinite amount of communication hazards we experience in our daily lives as grownups. Our common sense are developed based on our micro culture.

Let’s gain some altitude in our reasoning. Position our family micro culture  in a larger macro culture which in turn is our social group which we are identified by and ordered within the society and let us also mix it all up with a god portion of various ideologies.  Looking at this soup we will then easily see that the environment we on a daily basis navigate within generates unimaginable amount of misunderstandings based on the value we and our environment intermix on each spoken or written word, gesture, posture,  facial expression, intonation, situation and timing.

Luckily for our mental health and self esteem, we can interpret all these misunderstandings in our own way, equalizing the impact of our general surrounding to our own point of view and there by maintain balance. This however is much harder to do in a micro culture or in a relationship where self equalization of the surrounding according to our own benefit or judgement is not possible as our environment requires equalization based on situation. We need to equalize with our environment in order to reach balance in opinions.

What is social skills or social intelligence?

In many cultures, the word respect is translated to show elderly, rich or social successful people some extra attention and give social benefits. In a micro cultures of a family, respect is often translated to show attention to parents laws, ideologies and to trust in their better judgement as parents plan activities, manage emotions or transfer experience as how to manage the social interactions with entities outside of the familiy micro culture.

What is not so often identified but never the less is a major factor in daily situations (more so in micro cultures that in larger social interactions)  is that respect often translate into fear. Fear of consequences. Iif respect is not shown for the authorities and the social rules of the environment various kind of reprimands are in effect. These negative feed backs varies in strength and appearance, some less destructive than others. Please note I said “less destructive”, as respect in connection to reprimands is not a social skill, its a tool of dictatorship.

A common way in all cultures to relate to the word as we approach the meaning in a platonic way is that respect most often translate to understanding, showing concern and empathy. Which is not connected to fear at all, but rater to appreciation and recognition of one and another. It’s basically the love and recognition we are to share  for each others individuality and the presence we contribute with.

Respect is to acknowledge each others value and to recognize each others needs. The fundamental in communication is the equalization of  status and to confirm each others opinions which will serve as the base when we thrive to reach each others understanding.

Knowing ourselves, our intention and who we are along with the insight that we all do the best we can in all given moment helps us maintain respect which in all means is beneficial to us all.

Published in: on April 13, 2009 at 1:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Why – Good and Evil – Does not exist

I feel in a good mood today, so let’s chat about something light like why such things as good and evil do not really exist. Good and Evil of course do not exist as a force or intention, but exists merely as a linguistic categorization of events that either seems unfathomable mean or in the other extreme a miracle of fortune.

I wonder how many people jumped in their seats or dropped their mobile readers as they read  this statement from a first time blogger on the net. Ok, hopefully the statement was charged enough to raise a interest strong enough to continue reading. How I’m able to state something so naive to something that is so real, well accepted and built in to our social structure as how we relate to each other’s actions.

First off, I’m not trying to challenge any divine visualization here as I’m a non denier to the majority of them. I rather like to raise the question of how you and I interacts in relation to our experience and position in life. In order to deal with this statements, let’s not focus on the extremes and instead focus on some easy examples of human acts toward our environment. Everyone have goals in life, some people are very clear on what they like or are supposed to do for periods or with their lives in it’s entirety, and others have not spent a single minute of their thoughts contemplating where they are, where they are supposed to go or what to do, with their journey of roughly 100 year of discovery.

The fundamental truth is that ‘we all do our very best in every single moment of our lives’ to reach whatever goals we have visualized or choose not to, short term or  long term. Meaning, that some days we are tired or unbalanced making decisions that might set us off later on but never the less, it was the momentarily proficiency level that set the standard of our performance. If we would have been in a better shape or position we might have generated another outcome, but retro perspectives are always viewed in a light that is different from the original settings, and at the moment we gave our best.

We all do our very best in every single moment of our lives, this is the single most important truth we need to learn in life. This is the foundation of trust and understanding of the world that surrounds us. As we start to understand the ramifications of this, we realize that a lot of our assumptions of guilt, disappointments and forgiveness in one sentence reflects back to ourselves.

Comprehending the above elevates some defaults in our social interactions that no longer validates, things like forgiveness. Forgiveness is given to someone who made an error although insights, skills or other knowledge should have prevented a bad move according to the ruling social laws. But forgiveness in all its “goodness” also lays the burden of guilt to the forgiven. Is it possible to lay guilt on someone who acted by the best possible effort in the situation? Of course not. If we place guilt on someone acting out of its best according to personal believes we in the process disqualifies the person in its completeness as we fail to understand why the situation occurred. Forgive and forget have solved no problem, rather covered it and leaving possible emotional fractures as a result with no insights gained as to prevent the situation from reoccurring. The one to seize the privilege of definition of a situation all of  a sudden possesses the power to set the boundaries of Good or Evil which is a power that is to be taken serious.

In order to reach peace, we always needs to thrive towards understanding, with understanding we can reach acceptance resulting in a peaceful relationship towards our environment. Forgiveness is an illusion that fits our autopilot behavior which bases its functions on pattern recognition. In order to simplify decision making, situations are classified by our autopilot system as Good or Evil. The Autopilot behavior speeds up our ability to manage our world, which is generally a positive thing. However, we need to be aware of our autopilot behavior so we can calibrate and maintain our internal compass and understanding of our environment. Failing to do this will slowly bring us out of tune with our emotional reality, speed up our life tempo, especially together with today’s electronic society we are navigating our emotions in an incredibly speed. A  cultural, collision at these high speeds without any seatbelts for the soul generate fractures at so many levels that it might take a long time if ever possible to heal.

My hope today is that I managed to establish one insight, ’ We all do our very best in every single moment of our lives’. Based on this, there is things to deal with in our normal reactions to our environment. I have given some examples above, but I think I will come back in several post discussing the same subject as it’s  very difficult to cover a complete map as how to come to turn with the fact that disappointmentgood and evil along with forgiveness should be removed from our vocabulary.

Peace is based on the fact that the heart is in harmony with the logic. Don’t let the autopilot take emotional decisions just because it has the ability to, or leave the brain to evaluate other peoples intentions based on Good and Evil as we Know they are doing the very best they can based on whats on their horizon. Come to turn with  or understanding painfull events puts our heart at rest (not literary), and our brains in trim with a calibrated autopilot to aid our journey.

If we do not understand at the time (which unfortunately happens quite often), default to the fact that ’ We all do our very best in every single moment of our lives’, nothing is ever Evil as it do not exist and rest assured that insights will come at a later date if it’s important enought to remember. Understaning the importance of acceptance and removal of the “Evil” concepts makes us stay emotionally fit and maintains the door open as we mature and understands over time.

Published in: on March 23, 2009 at 2:29 pm  Leave a Comment  

First post, first blog, first subject.

Without having a well constructed plan or relying on a prepared vision where this would lead I just registered the blog following an impulse.  As I now already written the first sentence I start to think about some boundaries regarding this obviously impulsive experiment and I think I will try to stay within the area of some joy management and contemplation of peace. Sounds vague enough but lovely framed in a distinct topic.

Ok, as I’m obviously rambling on here which might go on forever I better start writing something containing some possible significance or interest to it. Here we go, my personal thoughts about simple things like disappointments.

Depending on who you are or who I might be, there might exist various causes to feel disappointed from time to time. Never towards others of course only at yourself, right?  Yep, that’s right. That was an unexpected and an odd thing to say by a person that just some sentences ago stated that this blog was to be dedicated to Joy and Peace.  Starting off with some self negative projection of insufficient actions to a degree that disappointment of oneself is to be expected hardly seems derive out of joy nor peace.

Well, what seems to be my very intention here is to explain why I think that it’s not possibe over time to feel disappointment towards anyone but (with a very big) maybe towards oneself, this however would in reality mean not recognizing oneself as part of how every other living creature reacts. A disappointment is a emotional illusion created by immature thinking where we believe we are capable of second guessing one other to the level that we even impose our own unspoken expectations of that one persons actions in a calculated future. If this goes wrong we somehow make up a guilt sentence to the victim we wrongly second guessed for not doing or delivering what we came to expect as we were second guessing the scenario in the first place.  Who failed here? I just realize I might in my unplanned manner, accidentally started of with a very heavy subject, as it spans over several insights that might not be Crystal at first glance and will take me some sentences to state.  I guess I will have some follow up blog posts then.  

What I intend to say here is that disappointments renders from our own inabilities to interpret the reality as it is, when it is. That we Feel disappointments is is based on our pattern oriented approach to life where we all fall back to internal processing of reality as soon as we think we have figured out a pattern of our surrounding. You don’t stay long to stare at a candle to figure out or assume that it is going to continue burning in the same way until all candle wax is burned away.  We go on autopilot as soon as we can. This is not negative, just how we behave and as we see that we can identify our own mistakes and refrain from feeling disappointments.

Maybe not as we stand momentarily in the emotional window , but give it some minutes and it’s easier to let it go and relax..

One piece in the puzzle of peace is awareness of our inner working and our ability to self heal emotional fractures. To understand is to find peace.

Published in: on March 22, 2009 at 8:18 pm  Leave a Comment  

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Published in: on March 22, 2009 at 7:14 pm  Comments (1)